Accept that LOVE is Enough – Acceptance (Grief Stage 5)

“Acceptance is not about liking a situation. It is about acknowledging all that has been lost and learning to live with that loss.” -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler from On Grief and Grieving

The final “aspect” of grief is Acceptance. And this makes me wonder if life isn’t just one big ‘ole ball of grief because “acceptance” is what many of us are trying to get to for so many things. Although acceptance is defined as the “final” stage of grief, it’s not really all that final. If you think that you will never be in denial, angry, bargain, or depressed about a loss at this point, you may be wrong. It is actually a new beginning; a time to start over; a time to begin again; a time to create new traditions; a time to go on with life…without whatever it is that we have lost. We begin to restructure our lives and the way we think about life in a way that reflects new possibilities, new joy, peace, and hope.

This stage of grief is how I knew that grieving my singleness was not a way to grieve for a dream that would never be realized. It was so that I could get to the acceptance of the way I thought things should be at this point, so that I could open my heart, body, and mind to the amazing partner that God has in store for me at the right time. No amount of human understanding can prepare me for this. It could take years, or it could be tomorrow. But whatever I thought was best for my life is nothing compared to what my Higher Power has in store.

This, is ACCEPTANCE.

That all sounds great. But the reality is that I waver in and out of acceptance…about everything. But as far as my singleness is concerned, I cling to bits and pieces of acceptance as I go along this journey. The times I am still in denial are now very rare, but I do get angry at times (probably not often enough), sometimes I revert back to bargaining, but as I mentioned before, I often spend most of my time in depression. But every now and then, I have one of those amazing breakthroughs that gets me to the shoreline of acceptance and it feels amazing. The important thing is to never downplay the progress. Write down those “acceptance checkpoints.” Use them as inspiration when you find yourself in one of the other stages.

The other day I made a proclamation to myself after working through the grieving process about being single.

I am ready to date again.

This is just a statement, and I’m allowing myself to just “be” with this statement. There is no action needed or required. This is my little piece of acceptance. The part of me that has allowed myself to feel the pain and realize that there is another side, even if I only see a small part of it.

I am ready to open my heart again. After working toward my “single” acceptance, and gaining a little peace about it, I could freely make this statement about being “ready.”

And sometimes, “being ready” is all God wants us to do.

I still have a lot of fear in this acceptance thing. I’m stronger. I’m doing things to take care of myself emotionally. This is all new for me. It is in my acceptance that my gratefulness is shining through. It is in acceptance that I realize romantic love is only a small part of the overwhelming concept of love. It is in acceptance where I openly receive the love of my Higher Power, friends, and family, and meditate on the fact that this love is “more than enough.” I ruminate and remain in this Love, so that I will know what real love is and what it is not when a romantic prospect comes along. And I love all the parts of myself, the good, the bad, and the not so good…and that is enough for me in this moment.

“I deeply love and accept myself.” -An affirmation of self-love from Love in 90 Days by Dr. Diana Kirschner

“Enough”
[Written by Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio]

All of You is more than enough for
All of me for every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You
Is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know

You’re my sacrifice of greatest price
Still more awesome than I know
You’re my coming King You’re everything
Still more awesome than I know

About Michele

Writer, musician, researcher, liberal, public servant, animal lover, Christian, 12 stepper, White Sox and GH fan.

Posted on July 29, 2012, in Thoughts & Reflections and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. As my therapist tells me often when I start to question my worth, “Your being is enough!”

    • LOL!! We must have the same therapist!!! :-D <3

      • I just adore mine lol. No matter how many times she tells me this I always need to hear it again LOL. It’s like a hug from the Universe every time. We are here for a reason, worthy to be here and if we weren’t…the world we live in would be missing out! We just have to believe it – let that love sink in! :-)

      • It’s sinking in! Glad to have found you on this journey. :-D

  2. How are things with you, Michele? Thinking of you and hoping your weekend is happy. ~ Lily

    • Hey Lily! How sweet are you! I am actually having a good weekend. I celebrated my 36th birthday yesterday, which was emotional because I still feel lost in so many ways, but yet I’m grateful for another year. Thanks for thinking of me, hope you are having a good day! <3

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