The Cat Assumption

“Ev’rybody wants to be a cat!” – From the movie The Aristocats

My heart is filled with so much anxiety lately. Last night I wasn’t able to sleep. There are so many things on my mind, so many things I have to do, so many things that are left undone. Whenever I would close my eyes to get to sleep, my mind would spin over everything again and again, and there I would be, wide awake…again. 

It’s 4am, I have to get to sleep, I have to go to work in the morning.

Pressuring myself to sleep makes things worse. I begin to think about something that triggers my emotions and I begin to cry. And I know why I’m crying, because I am afraid. Afraid of so many things, so many things not happening, afraid of letting people down, afraid that I am unlovable. I try to pray and practice gratitude for the Love that surrounds me, the Love that is readily available at all times, but anxiety tells me no, that’s not enough, it will never be enough.

Anxiety is a damn liar.

Yes, the desires of my heart are still there. The feelings about the desires that have not yet manifested were coming to the surface. These “feelings” have a sneaky way of coming out…it happens whenever I feel overwhelmed, or if I am feeling a bit of joy in the midst of my challenges. It’s funny how these feelings come out in challenges AND in happy moments. They serve as a reminder that there are still unfulfilled dreams in my heart, still this longing to be loved, and a fear that the longing will never go away.

But the desires of your heart never have to go away…

There were obvious feelings that needed to be felt last night, so instead of continually fighting myself and forcing myself to sleep, I allowed my body to relax in these feelings. This was a first for me. There was no judgment, I just felt what was happening, and let it be.

But I still couldn’t sleep.  

Then, a spiritual awakening. Through my tears, I glance over at my Samson kitty at the foot of my bed, sleeping, snoring (loudly), and curled up in a cute little ball. And I think to myself…

I need to be more like a cat.

Samson makes one big assumption before he goes to sleep. The assumption is that he will be taken care of.

When he wakes up, there will be Fancy Feast in his dish, water in his bowl, toys to play with, birds to yell at, a litter box to do his business in, and a mama to cuddle with. He boldly makes this assumption. He has no worries, he just knows that everything will be alright. And if it’s not, he will figure out a solution once he gets to the challenge. 

And with that thought, I turn over, close my eyes and go to sleep.

 Ev’rybody wants to be a cat!

I always talk about how my exploration of the human-animal bond will help others. Actually, it turns out that it helps me the most.

I want to be more like my Samson kitty. We can all learn something from the animals.

5 thoughts on “The Cat Assumption

  1. Michele I go through the same thing every night too. I’ll be exhausted tired but as soon as the lights go out and my other senses are deprived…the racing mind kicks in. I too will find myself thinking of tought things and start crying or get anxious! My dog and two cats are great teachers – my cocker spaniel Sammy who we lost last year was one of my best. Like you say he just never worried about much of anything and took life in stride, never met a stranger and when he needed to express his feelings about a situation he just did and moved on. Animal existence is so pure and simple for the most part — stay in today, stay in the moment….be still! All is well! I think that’s why when given the choice between animals and humans…I gravitate towards the animals! I’m glad to see when you post – writing is great therapy!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s